Wednesday, 28 September 2016

Disappearing to Reappear...

You may have noticed that things have been quiet on the blogging front from 'us' - and by 'us' I mean me as this is a one 'man' band - this year and if you noticed thank you! And I'm sorry. 
The simple fact is, I've been busy. 
Not busy with anything in particular, just busy with life. 
My job is demanding, I have a family and in the evenings I'm so brain dead I don't have the energy to blog, post on social media or generally care about what is happening in the book world anymore. 
In fact, it gets worse than not caring for the goings on in the book world... I barely have time, or inclination, to read anymore. 
When I do read, I can't be bothered writing a detailed review when so many books are now becoming virtually indistinguishable from each other and all I'm doing is repeating myself.
I'm burned out.
I'm tired.
I feel obligated to do this and in the majority of cases nowadays, it is thankless... So I say to myself that I'm not doing this anymore. I decide to give it up for a bit. I decide to just walk away... Then I change my mind. 

I change my mind because of days like today. For today I got a message from an author I LOVE offering an ARC of a book I've waited over a year on and I got excited. I wanted to read! I got a happy little jolt of being thought of and appreciated. I felt the excitement of catching up with new and old characters. I felt satisfaction that I can contribute in such a small way to the success of a series I love... This is the reason I'm not willing to give it all up yet. 

The simple fact is, I love books. I want to feel excited by books again. My life was so much happier when I had time to read more. The decrease in reading time came with my new job, which is highly stressful, and the loss of my lunch hour. Yes, I can take a lunch hour, but I no longer do because lunch is spent at my computer working away so I can get everything done and make it to the school pick up on time... My life is different now than it was almost three years ago when I started this blog and I think to keep going I'm going to have to try something new. 

I'm going to have to do things differently. I'm going to do what I do for me and not for anyone else. 
I'm going back to the love of books. 
I'm not going to look at other book blogs and feel guilty for not posting as much, or reading as much... I'm not going to follow the 'trends' and read the 'must reads' because someone is telling me to... I'll read them if I find them myself and want to.
I'm going to disconnect from the merry-go-round and march to the beat of my own little drum. 
I'm cutting out the nonsense. 
I'm not jumping on the PR bandwagon anymore - unless it's about something that makes me really really excited - I'm not going to sign up for every blog tour and blitz that drops in my inbox because I keep missing the posting dates simply because I can't muster the energy to do them anymore. 
Why sign up you ask? Because I feel like I need to, for it seems to be 'the done thing' in the book blogger community... However, I don't care anymore. Now, I'm not signing up for ANYTHING unless it makes me feel excited and passionate again.

Although, that said, I will catch up with the load of stuff in my inbox - and anything I've signed up for and forgotten about that hasn't come up yet- as I do have some level of professionalism and feel shame for breaking commitments... These posts and reviews will be back dated because my OCD dictates it all be where it should have been...

I'm also not going to spend time I don't have writing lengthy reviews... I'm not going to spend time writing piss-poor short reviews for books I've read either. (Seriously, have you seen my reviews lately? *shivers in horror*) I'll obviously still review but I'm going to try something new. So... Watch this space.

Essentially, I'm going to simplify everything and see how it goes... If it doesn't work out, then I'll call time on this adventure. 

But, I have hope it'll all be okay.

Wish me luck, and thank you for continuing to follow this blog. 

Nicci x

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